Radiate Positive Vibes
I never intended to go back for my PhD, nor did I intend to teach. Heck, I never intended to move back to Milwaukee for the third time. But here we are. Sometimes I get down on myself because in the past, I’d been very black and white with my goals and ideals; there was a lot of “never” in my vocabulary. Having been raised by two academics, both of whom pursued their doctorates after I was born, I saw the stress that teaching, studying, researching, and having a kid brought on. I genuinely believed I could be completely content with a bachelor’s degree (and later, master’s, just by virtue of being in a field that requires one) and working. Turns out I’m more like my parents than I thought! And it turns out… that’s not exactly a bad thing.
Suffice to say, I now have a lot going on — certainly more than I did when I was only working two-to-three days a week! However, I also have full-time help these days. When we first moved back to Wisco, we placed Baer in the Toddler program for half days. Turns out, half days are incredibly inconvenient for Nate and me, and Baer didn’t feel like he was getting enough time with his friends (seriously — he would say “too early!” whenever I came to pick him up). So now that Baer is in 3K, he’s going five days a week, and they’re full days. We know the schedule, so we know when he wants to be dropped off and picked up, and even though he’s usually among the last to be picked up, I don’t feel bad because he gets extra playground time! Extra playground time for Baer equals Mommy getting an Orangetheory class in, so I’m all on board with that!
What else is helping the feeling of balance these days? The fact that I’m not a new student. This is my second (third, if you count summer) semester, and this is the first one that I’m taking classes I chose rather than solely ones required. I will eventually have to take other statistics classes (just one more, I hope… I hope), but I did myself dirty in the spring with the two stats classes. Never again! I’m going to make sure to enroll half in classes I want to take and half in classes I am required to take. Learned that lesson the hard way! Remember, friends: balance your interests with what is required of you!
Lastly, I highly recommend taking time for you. There’s been a lot of discussion lately on the ‘gram about what constitutes as self-care. I’m of the mindset that self-care is whatever you need in the moment. It is classist to assume a person can afford a day at the spa, a weekend alone at a hotel, or a girl’s trip. It’s also ableist and assumes that everyone has a support system that can and will step up when there’s a burden that needs to be lightened. Am I so incredibly fortunate to have the financial, emotional, and physical capability to partake in those activities I just mentioned? Yes, but you better believe that I thank my lucky freaking stars that this is the case. Please know that there have been times in my adult life (especially post-baby) that I haven’t had the ability to slip away for one reason or another (ahem, breast feeding, PPD/PPA, etc.), and as a result, I have a true appreciation for going to the bathroom alone, watching a television show that isn’t on Disney+, and just being quiet with my own thoughts. Sometimes it’s the simple things that give us the best sense of calm and contentment.